Chapter 39: Pretense

“Secretary Zhuang seems to have misunderstood our relationship,” Fan Xia said gently, caressing the furry little head of a kitten.

Misunderstood? Rong Xiu smiled ambiguously. How he wished it wasn’t a misunderstanding, but reality.

However, on their wedding day, she was able to leave Wen Lan Sheng and return home with him. He was already very satisfied.

“The clothes Secretary Zhuang chose…” Fan Xia took the clothes Zhuang Nian bought and looked them over. It was an exquisitely tailored ladies’ dress, the silk-like fabric smooth and soft.

The base color of the dress was pure white, but the roses printed on it were truly gorgeous. Fan Xia’s usual clothes tended towards elegance and purity. This type of dress was clearly in the style of a coquettish young lady – frivolous and unrestrained. Wearing such a dress without a couple angelic-faced, devilish-bodied male escorts would be unseemly.

“I’ll have Zhuang Nian go buy another one.” Rong Xiu also noticed Zhuang Nian’s bizarre taste and was about to call him back.

“No need to trouble him, having something to wear is enough,” Fan Xia said. It was just a temporary outfit anyways.

She took the bag into the bathroom, took off her wedding dress, and put on the one Zhuang Nian bought. Although the dress looked flowery, it was actually quite simple to wear. Ladies’ clothing wasn’t like men’s – the comfort level was generally better and the size fit well too.

Fan Xia put the wedding dress she took off into the paper bag. Looking at herself in the mirror, the roses bloomed riotously, their fiery passion forming a stark contrast with the current cold and desolate wedding scene. If she wore this back and let Wen Lan Sheng see…

Fan Xia’s lips curved into a meaningful smile as she began to appreciate Secretary Zhuang’s taste.

Rong Xiu finished plating the last dish and brought it to the table. Hearing movement from the bathroom, he lifted his head, his eyes flashing with amazement.

Although the colors of this dress were gaudy, when worn on Fan Xia it didn’t appear vulgar at all. Instead, her innate temperament exuded a haughty beauty in full bloom, cut off from the dull and flavorless world.

By the time Rong Xiu came back to his senses, Fan Xia was tilting her head, looking at him with ease and composure.

He was caught staring.

Rong Xiu lowered his head, his distinctive fingers tightening slightly as he carefully arranged the dishes. “The meal is ready, we can eat now,” he said.

Fan Xia pulled out a chair and sat down. Everything was fully prepared, even the chopsticks were properly placed on their rests.

“Time was limited so I didn’t make much, we’ll have to make do.” Rong Xiu’s tone was steady, but his long fingers curling slightly against the tabletop betrayed his current nervous state.

Fan Xia propped her chin in her hand and smiled. “You call this making do? It’s already very bountiful.”

Perilla seaweed roast Wagyu, pan-fried matsutake, conch and crabmeat bisque, scallion stir-fried shrimp, hot and sour parrotfish, lotus crisps with celery, and even a bowl of angelica fish maw soup. The accompanying rice was pine nut bamboo chicken fried rice. The plating of every dish was refined to the extreme. If this was considered making do, then all these years the food Wen Lan Sheng made could only be considered subsistence fare.

Rong Xiu pressed his lips together, his smile faint. He put his hands behind his back to untie his apron, but for a long while there was no sign of it loosening.

“Is it stuck? Let me help you.” Fan Xia stood up and walked behind Rong Xiu.

Rong Xiu instinctively held his breath. An extremely faint tugging force pulled at his waist. A light, cold fragrance wafted over from behind him, as if embracing him from the back. The floor-to-ceiling window vaguely reflected her lowered head, focused on untying the straps for him, her long hair lightly brushing against his sturdy back. Her fair and slender fingers were right against the small of his back, almost touching the dimples there.

“It seems to be in a dead knot, a bit hard to undo. Just a moment,” Fan Xia said.

“Mm.” Rong Xiu let out a low hum, the nasal sound heavy, as if suppressing something.

Fan Xia lowered her head more, concentrating on untying the straps behind his waist. Unknowingly, her forehead pressed against his back. Almost instantaneously, she felt the muscles of Rong Xiu’s back tense up as straight and hard as an iron plate, his scorching body heat and cedar scent enveloping her like a great net.

Time suddenly stilled. Rong Xiu’s powerful, steady heartbeat reverberated in her eardrums, as if taking root in her body. Her fingertips began to fumble, unable to undo the simple straps no matter what, only cinching tighter around his narrow, firm waist.

Fan Xia took a deep breath to calm herself and carefully untangled the straps from the beginning.

“There.” She stepped back.

Rong Xiu’s taut back seemed to slacken in an instant, the mild afternoon light casting against his profile, dyeing an unnatural, near debauched flush on the nape of his neck.

“Then…let’s eat,” Rong Xiu said hoarsely, covering the unusually reddened side of his neck with his hand.

Fan Xia nodded and sat back down.

Looking at the table full of aromatic and appetizing dishes, she didn’t know which to try first.

“Is it not to your taste?” Rong Xiu had let go of the hand covering his neck at some point, the cool light in his eyes now tinged with the smoke and fire of the mortal realm.

Fan Xia shook her head. “Of course not.”

When her parents were alive, her father Xie Ying would ceaselessly make delicious food for her and her mother, refined and varied. Sometimes there wouldn’t be any repeated dishes for a whole month. Even in the resource-deprived winters when there were only potatoes and cabbage, Fan Xia’s tastes had gradually grown picky.

Later, she was sent to an orphanage. Circumstances forced her picky tastes to change – as long as the food was cooked and eating it wouldn’t kill her, it was fine. To the point that she nearly forgot what her father Xie Ying’s cooking tasted like.

Even later, Wen Lan Sheng became her boyfriend. Knowing she had a hard time at the orphanage, he often brought her food.

At first, his cooking skills were terrible and his hands were covered in oil splatters. Only later did his culinary abilities slowly improve. All along, she had assumed Wen Lan Sheng’s cooking was quite good for a man.

Until she took a bite of the scallion stir-fried shrimp Rong Xiu made. Only then did she realize what a true disparity was.

“How is it? Is it alright?” Rong Xiu asked, his fingers gripping the chopsticks turning white at the knuckles, anxious and uneasy.

Fan Xia scooped a spoonful of the conch and crabmeat bisque, the delicate sweetness and tender texture of the crabmeat blossoming on her taste buds. “Delicious, very delicious.”

The knuckles tensed to whiteness finally regained some color. Rong Xiu was clearly relieved, the corners of his mouth still curving with a smile. In this moment, he was no different from any ordinary man receiving praise. But in Fan Xia’s eyes, she felt he was quite unlike other men.

“I originally thought when you said you could cook, it was just talk,” Fan Xia said.

“I was strictly required by my father from a young age. The elementary, middle and high schools I attended were all aristocratic private schools. The academic expectations for boys at these schools were average – even failing was acceptable. But cooking, sketching, painting, etiquette – these were extremely strict. However, I got A’s in all these courses,” Rong Xiu said. “It’s just that after I inherited Shan Hai Group, because of work, I rarely entered the kitchen again. My cooking skills have gotten rusty, it’s not very good.”

“Not rusty at all, it’s really delicious, truly.” Fan Xia took a piece of the hot and sour parrotfish. The flesh was fresh, tender and firm, the flavor both sour and spicy, very much suiting her tastes.

Seeing her pick up the dishes chopstick by chopstick, Rong Xiu knew she was sincerely praising him, not just flattering him to give him face for fear of hurting his pride. The cool, narrow eyes filled with a layer of mirth as he instinctively asked the question in his heart: “Then is the food I make more delicious or the food Wen Lan Sheng makes more delicious?”

As soon as he said it, he regretted it. He shouldn’t have asked that.

But his heart was just filled with intense jealousy. In any case, it wasn’t like she truly loved Wen Lan Sheng, so why couldn’t he compare?

Fan Xia heard the childishness coming through in this question. She smiled and said, “Yours is more delicious.”

“Really?” Rong Xiu gripped his chopsticks tightly, joy rising in his heart. He couldn’t help asking again, “Then what about compared to others?”

Fan Xia was a bit puzzled. “Others? Who?”

Who? Of course it was Gu Jin Yi, that male paramour she was secretly keeping on the side.

Chapter 39: Pretense

Rong Xiu was not someone who always had to be the best at everything in life. But when it came to Fan Xia, he just wanted to be the best in her heart. Before, he had always thought his greatest rival was Wen Lan Sheng. But now he knew that Fan Xia didn’t truly love Wen Lan Sheng at all.

However, Gu Jin Yi was someone Fan Xia had been financially supporting for many years, sponsoring his education and even taking care of his father. She must love Gu Jin Yi very much.

He had secretly investigated Gu Jin Yi and seen him sweating on the basketball court, so young and passionate. It was something he, someone who had been steeped in the business world for years, could never give Fan Xia. He was even a year older than her.

The most youthful appearance in his life could only be hidden in a corner, peeping at her affection with Wen Lan Sheng.

Now, he finally had the qualifications to stand shoulder to shoulder with Fan Xia, but he was no longer young.

Compared to the young Gu Jin Yi, he never had any confidence.

In order to get revenge, Fan Xia had endured humiliation for so many years, always pretending to love Wen Lan Sheng in front of him. She hid Gu Jin Yi very deeply, so deep that even Wen Lan Sheng didn’t know the real third party wasn’t him, but Gu Jin Yi.

He was just the knife Fan Xia used for revenge, but the one she truly loved to the bone was Gu Jin Yi.

As long as he was better than Gu Jin Yi, as long as he was better than Gu Jin Yi… Rong Xiu’s heart was gnawed by jealousy. Only in this way could his agonizingly jealous heart feel a little better.

Fan Xia’s eyes were calm. She thought the “others” Rong Xiu mentioned referred to the chefs at outside restaurants. She smiled and said, her eyes gentle and bright, “Yours is the most delicious.”

Rong Xiu smiled. His distorted desire to compare was satisfied. His thin lips showed a morbid, unusual redness, but it was more lively than his usual cold and aloof appearance, looking soft.

Fan Xia took a sip of the conch and crabmeat soup, the corners of her mouth curving up.

A dog saw them eating and jumped down from the sofa with a huff, biting her skirt hem as if dissatisfied that only they were eating.

Fan Xia was about to say she forgot to serve the dog food when Rong Xiu spoke.

“Ignore it, it just sneakily ate a big bowl of dog food in the back. Its belly is almost bursting. It just knows to act pitiful in front of you.”

Fan Xia chuckled. “Poor doggy, too bad there’s no portion for you.”

The dog seemed to understand her words. Its tail immediately drooped and it rubbed against her calf reluctantly, its drooping eyebrow looking even more comical.

Fan Xia laughed and said, “It’s no use acting cute with me, I don’t have any dog food. Go ask your dad.”

Rong Xiu’s expression suddenly froze for a moment.

The dog hesitated, seeming to determine Rong Xiu wouldn’t give it any more dog food. Like a child, it laid on the ground throwing a tantrum.

Fan Xia also thought Rong Xiu wouldn’t give it any more dog food.

Who knew that Rong Xiu unexpectedly put down his chopsticks and took a few dog chew treats to give it.

Pleasantly surprised, the dog barked happily, its little tail wagging wildly as it happily gnawed on the treat sticks.

“Didn’t you say you wouldn’t give it anymore? Why feed it treats again?” Fan Xia said with a smile.

Rong Xiu’s expression was very strange, the corners of his eyes still inexplicably flushed. “It’s… it’s nothing, just two treat sticks won’t make it burst.”

Fan Xia gave a slight smile, only feeling that Rong Xiu had a sharp tongue but a soft heart.

Although his attitude towards the dog was indifferent and he didn’t show much affection, the backyard was full of dog toys and he even specially cleared out a room to be a dog house. It was good to follow a wealthy owner – the dog house cost hundreds of thousands per square meter. If it followed her, it could only sleep on the balcony.

This meal fully satisfied Fan Xia.

After the meal, she helped Rong Xiu clean up.

Rong Xiu took a few steps back holding the plates. “I can clean up by myself, you go watch TV.”

Fan Xia smiled and rolled up her sleeves, revealing her slender white wrists. “How can I bear to watch TV while you’re busy washing dishes in the kitchen? Let me help you.”

Rong Xiu said, “Actually, I’m not that busy. I just need to put the dishes in the dishwasher. The household garbage and such, the maids will regularly clean up.”

Fan Xia’s expression froze for a moment before she laughed at herself. She had forgotten about spending power. How could someone from Rong Xiu’s background not be able to afford servants?

“Alright then.” She sat on the sofa, remembering that last time she came, there was an ashtray piled full of cigarette butts on the coffee table.

At that time, Rong Xiu had a high fever. Since she had nothing to do anyways, she helped him dump out the ashtray. Although she was slightly surprised that an austere and aloof man like Rong Xiu would smoke, she had no say if he smoked at home.

But now, besides a few books and the remote control, the coffee table was empty. Rong Xiu happened to finish cleaning the kitchen and came to sit beside her.

She took the chance to ask, “You quit smoking?”

Rong Xiu’s distinctive fingers trembled slightly. “I’m already quitting. I only smoked before because of work stress, but now I haven’t touched a cigarette in a long time… I rarely drink anymore either.”

His voice got weaker and weaker as he spoke.

Fan Xia’s smile was gentle, as if comforting his unease. “It’s good you quit. Smoking is bad for your health after all. Your voice will get hoarse over time and the smell will linger on your clothes, impossible to wash out.”

“You seem to know a lot about it?”

“Because I used to smoke too.” Fan Xia leaned back on the sofa lazily and randomly picked a movie.

“You?” Rong Xiu was a bit surprised.

Fan Xia smiled nonchalantly. “What, you’re very surprised to know I smoked too?”

Rong Xiu nodded. Although it was normal for women to smoke, in all the time he had known Fan Xia, he had never seen her smoke.

The movie slowly started playing, seeming to be a romance.

Fan Xia spoke slowly, her eyes carrying a faint, bitter smile. “After my parents passed away, the tremendous blow left me depressed for a very, very long time. My academics plummeted, going from top of the grade to the bottom of the class. Not only that, I even fell in with those good-for-nothing students. That was when I learned to smoke, drink, and fight. Anything you can imagine those delinquent students doing, I did. The teachers all gave up on me, no longer managing me.”

Rong Xiu looked at her silently, not knowing how to comfort her. He could only feel the hardships and torment she suffered back then from her words. He mustered up his courage and held her fair, slender hand.

Fan Xia smiled, not rejecting him, and continued, “At that time, the good students all stopped acknowledging me, except for Wen Lan Sheng. He would bring me milk every morning study session, but I poured the milk on his head.”

“Did you know from that time that the Wen family caused your parents’ death?” Rong Xiu tightly gripped her hand.

Fan Xia shook her head. “I didn’t know.”

“Then why?”

“I just didn’t want anyone to save me.” Fan Xia lowered her thick lashes, her voice carrying a hint of bitterness. “I hated myself. If not for me, my parents wouldn’t have died.”

On the day of Fan Yun’s accident, Fan Xia had participated in a city-level math competition and won first place.

Xie Ying was very happy and made a big table of food, waiting for Fan Yun to get off work and come home.

The factory had overtime that day. By the time she got home, it was already 8 PM.

Hearing the good news, Fan Yun happily picked up young Fan Xia and said she wanted to give her a reward. She asked what she wanted.

Little Fan Xia said, “I want to eat blueberry ice cream.”

Fan Yun immediately went out to buy it. Xie Ying said, “It’s too late, let’s go tomorrow.”

But Fan Yun said, “It’s only 8 o’clock, not late. We have to buy whatever Xia wants to eat.” She kissed Xie Ying’s forehead, her eyes gentle. “You worked hard tutoring Xia too. The supermarket should still have the wax apples you like to eat. I’ll buy them together.”

Fan Yun put on her coat and said with a smile that she would be right back.

But she never came back.

Chapter 39: Pretense

When they learned that Fan Yun had an accident, it was already late at night. Xie Ying pulled Fan Xia along with the neighbors to run towards the highway where the accident occurred. That stretch of dark road felt as excruciating as a lifetime.

She stumbled forward, not knowing how long she ran. She accidentally fell, her hands covered in blood, but it wasn’t her own.

Xie Ying’s heart-wrenching cries rang in her ears.

She stared at the dazzling blood all over the ground and lifted her head in a daze. She saw her mother, flesh and blood mangled.

The mother who had just lifted her high, smiling and praising her as the smartest child in the world, was now reduced to a cold corpse, too gruesome to recognize except by her clothing.

Xie Ying screamed her name, hugging her frigid body. The body that had been run over who knows how many times was broken into two halves.

Xie Ying went mad, wailing hysterically. The neighbors forcefully pulled him away. Xie Ying was covered in blood, crying himself to death on the spot.

Fan Xia stood there blankly, her eyes full of tears. She quietly called out “Mom”.

No one would ever respond to her gently again.

On the day of the funeral, Xie Ying looked shockingly haggard. By this time, he could no longer cry.

Fan Xia knelt in front of him, crying and apologizing. If she hadn’t wanted ice cream, her mother wouldn’t have died.

Xie Ying hugged her and comforted her.

He said, “Good child, this isn’t your fault. Don’t blame yourself.”

But that night, he hanged himself in the wardrobe.

He used the tie Fan Yun gave him to hang himself. There was enough space in the wardrobe to save himself. As long as he straightened his legs a little, he wouldn’t have died. But he was so resolute, dying in that narrow, dark closet.

When Fan Xia found him, his body was already cold.

But Fan Xia refused to believe it. She threw herself forward, crying and hugging Xie Ying. Large teardrops rolled down as she apologized in a hoarse voice, “Dad, I’m sorry, I was wrong. I shouldn’t have asked for ice cream. If I hadn’t asked for ice cream, Mom wouldn’t have died. I was wrong, I was wrong. Dad, come back, please, come back.”

The tie snapped under the strain. The cold, heavy corpse fell limply, heavily pressing down on Fan Xia.

The corpse’s slack, hollow pupils stared straight at her.

Fan Xia desperately closed her eyes, tightly hugging Xie Ying’s corpse, wailing in anguish.

“I always felt my dad resented me. I resented myself too. Why did I have to insist on that ice cream? Why did I have to get first place? If I hadn’t gotten first place, if I hadn’t asked for that ice cream, would Mom still be alive?” Fan Xia’s eyes reddened slightly. “So I smoked, drank, skipped class, hung out with the wrong crowd – it was all to punish myself.”

“Wen Lan Sheng treated me very well at that time, but I wasn’t moved. I didn’t want anyone to be good to me anymore. I didn’t want to be saved either. I just wanted to fall.” Fan Xia lifted her head with a bitter smile.

“But later, I learned the truth about the car accident from an eyewitness. Only then did I know that the person who ran over my mother was Wen Ming Yue. And at that time, Wen Lan Sheng, Xie Cen, Wen Jing – they were all in the car. They just watched my mother die!”

“The entire Wen family are murderers. Why do they get to be happy together while my family was destroyed? And Wen Lan Sheng even pretended to be nice to me, wanting to save me, to make me fall in love with him. Fine then, I’ll satisfy him.”

“A man delivered to my doorstep – might as well sleep with him. Let me tell you, I’m the one who found that cheat sheet for Wen Jing too.”

“I heard she wanted to find someone to cheat, so I deliberately let that person leave clues on the homework that could be easily found out by the school. Wen Ming Yue spent nearly two million on her studying abroad, all down the drain. Great, one step closer to my plan.” Fan Xia laughed, fragile yet smug.

Rong Xiu listened quietly, his eyes pained and hateful. The Wen family all deserved to die!

The sky gradually darkened. Fan Xia stood up. It was time to go back and see Wen Lan Sheng go crazy.

She had never told anyone about those things from back then, always hiding them in her heart to digest alone. But today, perhaps Rong Xiu’s home made her too relaxed. She actually vented it all out. Her heavy heart finally felt a moment of relief.

She was about to leave, but Rong Xiu grabbed her. His slender, strong fingers clasped her hand.

Fan Xia watched as he slowly stood up from the sofa, his chest nearly pressed against her. She could vaguely make out the contours under his shirt.

His eyes were deep and his fingertips slid slowly from her waist to her chest, stopping at the first button.

His voice was low. “I know you want to go back and provoke Wen Lan Sheng. These clothes are perfect. One look and it seems like you went out for an affair.”

Fan Xia smiled. Sometimes she was amazed by the tacit understanding between her and Rong Xiu. The kind of understanding where even if she said nothing, he would immediately catch on and quickly cooperate.

His cool fingers caressed her buttons. Rong Xiu’s scorching lips pressed against her slender neck. “If your body had marks left from lovemaking, Wen Lan Sheng would definitely be even angrier.”

Fan Xia’s gaze lingered on him. After a moment, she curved her lips, put her arms around his neck, and kissed him thoroughly behind his ear.

Rong Xiu trembled all over. His fingertips shook as he unbuttoned her shirt and sucked on her fair neck, leaving vivid kiss marks.